Everyone doubts, from time to time, their relationship. We wonder what “it should” be. When we compare ourselves to the surrounding couples or to the couple formed by our parents, we can wonder what is true love…
Here are expert opinions on why many couples who don't follow stereotypes can be quite happy!
1. You enjoy silence.
You and your partner can be together by being silent for a some time. You don't feel uncomfortable and you don't have to talk all the time. According to Doctor Roni Beth, couples who can just be together in silence and do their own thing have a very special bond.
2. You go on vacation alone.
Nowadays, there are more people who go on vacation without their romantic partner, about 1/3 of adult Americans say they prefer to go solo.
More close-knit couples may find it difficult to understand this kind of decision. But going alone can strengthen your relationship! If you really love your partner, you will surely miss him / her. And no need to go far, you can just go to different cities or pick different activities!
3. Your partner does not spend time with your family.
If your parents and your partner get along well, that's great. However, when they don't like each other, it's less pleasant. However, these differences must not become a source of conflict. Your partner doesn’t have to attend all your family gatherings. On the other hand, they will continue to love you and respect your loved ones. You just need to define the ground rules together, as quickly as possible.
4. You have different interests.
According to Dr. Mark White, people overestimate the value of hobbies and similar interests. He believes that common interests can just help people ignore their issues and prolong a relationship that is no longer viable. Psychologist Diane Barth thinks most people need someone different from them. It makes them stronger and their lives richer.
If you find someone who agrees with you on everything, that can get boring too!
5. You argue...a lot.
Every couples has arguments! It's normal. According to Dr. Elizabeth Dorrance the people we love the most get the most out of our negative emotions. But conflict is good for relationships because it is a sign that you both need to change something. However, you should be able to end conflict on a positive note and admit your mistakes.
6. You don't try to please your partner all the time.
Psychologist Atalanta Beaumont is against trying to please a partner at all costs. According to her, if someone tries too hard to help others, it may be because in childhood their efforts were not rewarded or they do not feel like they are good enough.
If you try to please everyone, sometimes you end up sacrificing your own needs. It's okay to displease people. You can't make everyone happy.
7. You sleep on your own bed
There are many reasons why couple sleep separately, for example snoring or different schedules. Psychologist Katherine Schreiber mentions that more and more couples are sleeping separately these days. Scientists at Ohio State University have proven that healthy sleep is much more beneficial for a relationship than sleeping together.
8. You have do no children
Some people believe that a couple without children cannot be happy. This is not the case. If you both accept this fact and it's okay with both of you, that's fine. In fact, psychologists believe that couples without children are often happier than those who raise a family.
9. You spend less time together than you would like
Of course, the time you spend together matters, but psychologists say how you spend it matters much more. You should do things together only if it makes the both of you happy.
10. It takes a long time for you to accept each other
Nobody is perfect and sometimes it takes a while for people to come to terms with their partners flaws. Psychologists say accepting people doesn't mean we have to be okay with what they're doing. Acceptance is to agree with reality, without trying to change it. Imagine how much a relationship improves when a person feels totally accepted!
11. You express your feelings in different ways
Each partner may have a different outlook on how to express their feelings. For one, words are important, for another, actions, hugs and other things are more important. Research has shown that people who stay married for a long time think that getting take-out or cleaning the house as a way to show love and care to their partner.
How long have you been with your partner?
Source: Bright Side · Photo Credit: Adobe Stock